using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
