so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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