So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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