Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
