Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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