I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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