this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
