how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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