Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
