I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
