I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
