I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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