i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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