I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
