so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
