Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Panties = found
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