we have pet lesbian snakes
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
