guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize