he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
tell me about the fingering
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