Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We talked him into tasing himself.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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