its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
