I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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