I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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