while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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