You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
