I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
