I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
