I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
