He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
