No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
