Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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