she woke up with a sticky ear
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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