did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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