Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Acid is not a monday night drug
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
