Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
