Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
