Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
