i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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