Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
