I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Dicks are not precious.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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