she was so not down for the gang bang
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
