There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Randomize
