i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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