This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
