He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize