on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
