i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
