oh god the rape fog is back!
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
