Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
