My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
