So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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