hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
