guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
