living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
