dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
