So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
