Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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