david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
