So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
