maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
